I asked him if he wanted to go to my place, he said i could go but he was gonna stay
unlike you, ive never imagined darth vader masturbating
She was singing my heart will go on into her barf bag. celine aint got shit on her.
hell no. last time, i couldn't pee straight for a week.
We had to put his head at the bottom of the driveway so the puke would run down. Now he's sleeping outside.
im wtih 32a right now bc 34d is on her period. now i know how girls feel when their hookups go from magnums to regulars
I didn't realize I was holding it, until I was like, "whose baby is this?"
Please assure him that the flying penis statue is for display purposes only.
We got a standing ovation as security was escorting us out of the ballpark, it was a proud moment
My CPA just snapchatted me a picture of her playing beer pong at a picnic. Time to do my own taxes?
I just drove my booty call to his booty call, if that isn't spreading the love, I don't know what is.
Yeah bc that's when u should take a Molly. At a house party with everyone from ur hometown
I was masterbating to some porn on my phone and my mom decides to text me "are you okay?" I mean i was doing great until you cock blocked me mom..
My sexual preferences tend to require a degree in psychology to understand
There's literally not a single picture of him with a shirt on. I can't talk to him without dislocating my eye balls.
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