Im watching he's just not that into you, eating way too much pizza, and feeling very single.
Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
I am so stoned and my professor is handing out candy. I love Halloween.
taking shots each time the weatherman says Dont go out in this blizzard
something about eating while taking a crap just doesn't seem safe to me.
let's get her a shirt that says "i went to key west for spring break and all i got was this illegitimate child."
Is it bad that I just used Smirnoff as mouthwash?
I really hope he dies in a tragic kegstand mishap
Im celebrating the fact that the one guy who has ever denied me has just come out of the closet
We tried. It's impossible to cum while bouncing on a trampoline. It's like trying to sneeze while keeping your eyes open.
i think i broke my dog last night...fuck
It's a drunk scavenger hunt.
Everything on the list counts for double points if done naked.
I asked my mom if she could pick up something for me to drink since we ran out of orange juice and she goes "We have beer, champagne, and baileys. Drink one of those."
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
Just threw up in a baggy on the airplane. The guys next to me clapped and bought me a jack and coke.
Livin the dream
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