just checked my call log and realized that we talked for 3 mns. what did i say for that long?
pretty standard. you have fun last night?
apparently....what exactly does 'pretty standard' mean?
typical hot then cold, followed by a death threat.
dude did u upper deck my toilet?
haha like two months ago
i cleaned the bathroom like ten times before i realized what the smell was.....i hate u
she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
they hired a photographer to take a family portrait for grandmas bday gift. we just hired a male stripper. we are def the better grandkids.
Had sex to a Lionel Richie song. I have a feeling I was conceived to it. Finally reached full circle.
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
I walked home with an awkward asain couple. There was a language barrier but I think we're friends now.
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
Na Im fine, just need to un-grow this vagina I've developed
I told your dad we had a nice lunch and hung out for awhile. It seemed more appropriate than "I had a bite of his canned chili and then we ripped each others clothes off."
Dude! I just figured out I can successfully hide a 4oz flask between my boobs without endangering my cleavage! College: conquered!
He took me home and by the time I woke up after catching up on sleep I realized I accidentally put on one of his fiances socks. whoops.
Are you the reason I woke up without pants?
I'm not dropping acid and watching game of thrones with you. That just sounds like a disaster waiting to happen.
Let me call you later. I’m lining up some office dick now that working at home is ending
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