i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
And hes hitting me with his balls, really hard.
i'm surrounded by gay midgets. not sure if i'm bragging or asking you to come rescue me. wait for follow up.
Just had a girl agree to give me a blowjob in exchange for wearing my jacket during class. Talk about successful negotiations. Best day of my life
There's an old bald Japanese dude on the metra next to me. He's drinking MGD on a crowded train, and rocking out way too hard to what may be the same Dallas Green song I'm listening to. Life is sweet.
ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
he confused my yawn for an orgasm
Boobs are out for the taking
Just ate an entire BBQ chicken pizza this better go to my tits
I'm to the point of desperation where I stare at customers penis imprints through their pants all day
I may have just masturbated while on hold with the IRS. don't judge me
I'm not strong. I'm hormonal, sad, lonely, and trying to get laid via tinder
I'm not totally useless... You can use me as an example of what not to do
I call bullshit
Call it what ever you want I just need to figure out how to get permanent marker off my cock
Drunk man just fell out of said wheelchair
Randomize
