The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
dear santa what can i do with your candy cane?
there is a puppy in the bar... no really i didnt steal this one
i'm like carrie bradshaw but prettier and with a penis
Never forget that any girl can get her way if she puts her vagina on the table.
Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
Just heard the garage door open and I immediately sprinted to the laptop to erase history, even though I haven't watched porn today...I believe Pavlov now.
Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
I smelled my fingers after she left and they smelt like sugar cookies. I want that one again.
At this point, if I'm not getting fucked by a man in ONLY cowboy boots, it's not worth it.
Okay, new plan. Get drunk, eat breadsticks. It's going to be great.
He was telling me about how he's leaving on his Mission next week... While we were having sex in the back of his car.
You went to pound town last night and chow town this morning. Boy you need a passport.
We need to feng shui this bitch.
the awesomest thing about staying behind in our lame ass dorm room by myself during spring break: I've now nutted in 3 inconspicuous locations on your side of the room. brag to me again about how fucking awesome tahoe is you shithead. I dare you.
Randomize
