Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
We just followed a woman home because she looked like Jeff Goldblum. Turns out she lives in a trailer park.
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
Drunk
Deyhxbr
Fucaerrrrr
Is it some european holiday today? We both woke up to find loaves of bread in our rooms...
Dave got tied up again. I'm done breaking into girls houses to cut him loose. At least before noon.
Juss got out of jail; shes still in there tryin to sing her abc's backwards bc the cops neva asked her too... Whebever she gets to t she starts singin the tequilla song
Some days you just pee in a stairwell and go home.
She told me to pick her up in the corner of shame and self-disgust.
Everyone keeps telling me I look so healthy and happy today: the power of the penis people!!
Sex is always the answer.
Especially if the question is: what have I not had this year?
I can't take my grandparents out somewhere where I've fucked half the staff.
Yeah, I got home from work at like 9:30, and he was passed out on the couch wearing only a tee shirt and The Jurassic Park theme on repeat.
I'm so happy we share a mutual love of laughing at religion.
AND I NEED A VIKING FUNERAL OR MY GHOST ASS WILL SAUNTER ON OVER AND CASTRATE HIM FOR TECHNICALLY MURDERING ME
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