I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
Her brother was practicing the clarinet....it was like having sex in a starbucks
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
Unlimited sex for unlimited netflix. I can deal with that. I think this is the first prostitution deal for netflix ever.
We got the idea to smoke under his bed because, and I quote, "it'd be just like going camping"
the thing I didn't realize I would miss about college is that at home you can't just dismiss your sex bruises as drunk accidents
Girl on the bus just slammed her book shut, turned to me and said "I'm way to fucking high to be studying"
woke up wearing a canadian flag with the starting forward of the hockey team. i feel oddly patriotic
Theres a 75% chance I'm wearing a hocky mask and nothing else right now
Ps I am
Saying you need a hooker then asking me to have sex is NOT the way to get laid. Booty call 101.
Who put the meatball sub on my door handle?
I love the smell of your bedroom. It smells of a mixture of cherries, leather, and unrequited homosexual desire.
You know it's been a rough week when you funnel beers by yourself.
I was afraid I was gonna get a URI, so I peed on his front porch.
I feel like I had a successful night. I flashed the guy at the liquor store last night for 2 free tshirts and a giant redbull.
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