Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
I'm drunk at The Bachelor casting call in Cleveland
I cherish every text you send me
hey everyone... booty call? my house tonight. bring friends to fuck my friends.
just a heads up, there may or may not be a mailbox full of the leftover beer on the table in your basement.
I won't be sarcastic... just naked
i was so worried that when his hands were down my pants he was going to find the weed i stole from him
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
My nephew just told me I smell like apathy and regret. Thats the hangover I'm dealing with
see these eyes, they just want to bone and go to sleep.
I legit had a 15 minute convo about dinosaurs with a guy at the bar last night cuz he was wearing a jurassic park shirt
I saw a shooting star while he was eating me out at 3am by my neighbors pool. Doesn't get more magical than that
I'm constantly crying, and now I start crying every time I masturbate which is a fun development.
I don't remember what you did, but I DO remember that i'm supposed to hate you for it.
so i went over to her house and we played crash bandicoot, ate calzones, and had sex all day. im in love.
Randomize
