It's like a parade of train wrecks.
i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
Just desperately used the "it's a boy" cigar I saved from my\nnephews birth to roll a blunt
I'm going to get so drunk tonight, I actually feel bad about the 30 seconds of drunken awkward sex I'm going to have with one lucky fat chick.
No. one of us needs a degree and I am already the alcoholic friend. I can't do everything
basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
She looked at me and said there is a 90% chance I am going to puke in the next 10 minutes. 10 minutes later she is in jack in the box throwing up. She has amazing timing.
Somebody left a mini pitcher in the bathroom. Think its safe?
Actually, what with the curvature of the Earth, it's faster to leave from Washington. And Google maps recommends kayaking instead of swimming.
Dramatic love triangle! I guess mystery Asian and I will just have to fight it out for your love.
And after that you guys started calling arbor mist "breakfast juice"
No she probably looked into my aura and saw that my penis would ruin her.
Can I get that on a shirt
We've been staking out a taco bell for 2 hours trying to find last night's one night stand
I'm eating cheesecake with my hands completely naked while falling asleep
Like, I don't need to know your life dude. I just need you to suck my tits.
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