saw you had $9 in your checking acct, left $20 on your dresser so you won't be a whore this weekend
This old guy in denny's is sitting alone and he is looking at us and laughing for no reason
walked into the kitchen nd asked my mom what smells like tuna she replies" your sister" now i cant eat tuna...EVER!!!
I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
i took an adderall last night to write a paper. i ended up watching 7 hours of roseanne and couldn't look away
threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
Blonde 1 is sitting on the floor crying and blonde 2 is asleep with her face in the toilet. This isn't what I had in mind when they asked me back
I made out with him with my retainers in. My drunken hook-ups get lazier and lazier.
I feel like wearing underwear would just be poor planning
Just caused a nice traffic jam while trying to park at Costco. Too high to drive.
We will have to go big on the 4th! Nothing says independence like the impending doom of an ankle monitor
You wouldn't be the first friend to shit himself in the last 7 days
Im glad the only reason we got out of bed today was to get Halloween candy on sale.
The alcohol tastes like we did a beer run at the nail salon
We need to find out what drug we took so we can take it everyday from here on out
Randomize
