Have you finally orgasmed yet?
When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
drunk sex in a shower = bad idea broken arm
theres so much semen in my vacuum cleaner...
FYI angry masturbation is not as cool angry sex
Ps. I feel like I may pee myself this weekend. Either drunkenly or out of excitement. Toss up
We can just keep having sex until one of us finds someone we actually like
he just gave me a love letter in polish. he thinks i speak polish. I DONT SPEAK POLISH
I slept with him that night and I'm not sure if my lack of enthusiasm was obvious but I found him eating ice cream in the bathtub the next morning. Mom will be so proud.
IM A SHIT SUOW THE GUYS AT THE PMACR TOLD ME AJDBO I WEBF RO WALNARY WITH OU SHOES! I WASHT LLOWES FLOWERSA
Dude, my vagina feels like new again! I love antibiotics. How's your day?
So I got cockblocked by our relationship status last night
Its weird to introduce me to his wife and kids on the first date, right?
you never know when your going to find a surprise from me in your bed...it keeps you on your toes.
I’m literally naked drinking a beer and I gotta leave in 6 minutes for work lol
Randomize
