I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
How do i write this on his wall without making it sound like he gave me an std?
Um, yeah. You lit my birthday candles with a joint. Mom= not happy.
In my junk email folder, there are literally 67 messages from Alcoholics Anonymous. What..the fuck.
your ex girlfriend just barged in my house, drunk, mumbled something about "car strip", and put a huge hole in my drywall with her head.
I'm starting to second guess shaving my vagina over the kitchen sink. The lighting is so much better though.
i think dick pics are a sign of a sexual renaissance
I asked if he wanted to sext and he just started sending me pictures of his beard.
I just looked into the eyes of the man whose car I peed on last night
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
You know, part of me wants to die and the other part of me doesn't want to live
I mean, "boo" isn't the appropriate response to someone dying...
she is like a cock bee. instead of going from flower to flower she goes from cock to cock
I have already been up, showered, had a cup of coffee brought to me, added a little rum to cure the hangover, had sex and kicked him out and it's only 1pm. Successful day so far.
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
Randomize