My cock was attacked by outdoor plants
why are there beer bottles in my dishwasher?
riding the spinning bikes at the rec after Valentines Day was a baaddddd idea
At one point 12 people dressed in care bear onesies were up on stage grinding super nasty, and two of the girl Care Bears were making out.
If this wasn't a hallucination, we need to go to this magical kingdom every night of the week.
I'm gonna get drunk in the shower and yell at my parents during dinner. Have fun in Texas.
last night on the strip the guy screamed at you YOU GOTTA WORK ON YOUR CALVES.
Awk. Hanging with her while messaging her ex about sex injuries he gave me
She came 4 times, called me a god, then made me breakfast. I don't think she is ever going to leave
They are gonna stay together and get married and have 2 children before he wakes up and realizes that there is more to life than anal
He's gonna do me a solid for doing her a solid. It's like pay it foward. But with sex.
Do u have any idea how hard it is to masturbate in a CVS bathroom when your name is being called over the speakers to pick up a prescription for painkillers?
Everyone should just give me a copy of their keys. I take your dog out and I bring beer.
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
We got to the hospital and the girls who caused the accident had already added you on facebook.
She shouldn’t care what consenting adults do behind closed doors
You do realize it was her husband you were hooking up with behind that door, right?
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