Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
the last thing i remember is you screaming lets hunt humans.
I said I wanted my dignity back. He brought my thong to me after sharpie-ing "dignity" on the front. I'm not sure if I should me mad or impressed.
And the cops told us we were all naked.
If tjhis were a lake full of vodka and i were a ducl Id swim my way down and ddrink my way up
When She took off her bra.... A tube of lipgloss, her phone, I.D. And a wad of twenties fell out.... I'm officially no longer a butt man
I feel like I need to get a restraining order against him but I'd probably be the one to break it.
At what point does "I'm too high to deal with you right now" stop being rude?
I got 87 likes on my changed relationship status. It's official. I'm way more fucking awesome single.
They're mostly guys
Early bird gets the worm.
Oh my god. I'm not ready to be an adult. I'm not ready.
I convinced every single one of my cousins to bring me a glass of wine. I was the alcoholic queen and they were my subjects.
Do pleather leggings scream im easy on a first date?
Remind me to tell you how I've been deaf since Sunday at 1245
Mom, I'm really sorry you saw my naked ex-boyfriend in the living room this morning. I can explain....but I'd rather just stick with this apology and be done with it
I AM A SEXUAL NIGHTMARE
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