i jhust puked up my retainher.
"you've got the devil in yuh. the curse of Jesus is coming on your sex soon." That's what a homeless guy just told me.
we're getting ready to take strippers to breakfast. I love my life.
Abreva sucks. I applied it as directed and now it looks like I fed the herpes. They're throwing a party on my bottom lip.
i think of them as a grilled chicken salad and a fried chicken biscuit. obviously Amy is better for me, but when i'm eating her all i can think about is how much better the blonde must taste.
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
This guy kept running around with a blender giving people shots of everclear and vodka. Best. Toga. Party. Ever.
Also, we should really buy some bandaids. Right now I'm using toilet paper and scotch tape, but I don't really think that's sanitary.
I forgot my id and a man called soup is buying me vodka.
At this point i guess a traditional, non-life-threatening pity fuck is too much to ask for
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
I was going to text you that earlier, but I felt like before 10 was probably to early to bring up boners
I think it's your fault my nipples aren't sensitive anymore.
As you were leaving you yelled at the owners that the stairs weren't suitable for "intoxacapated" people and promptly fell down them.
So I WAS right.
It's next to that place that has cock fighting.
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