I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
After the sixth shot I started to slur my pauses.
I knew we were gonna fuck after she told me she's seen that Porno before
it's pretty bad when you go in bed bath and beyond and recognize 6 different bed spreads you've had sex on
i just wasnt prepared to have the baby of one of two french firemen. threesomes are too confusing.
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
I remember trying to cut the power to a house I thought was "too bright to understand the meaning of christmas". Pretty sure I blacked out down the street.
Just promise me you wont die... or hook up with an old asian lady playing slots
Cant promise that last part. I won't die though
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
In other news, last night I told somebody they made eczema look so good they should call it sexzema.
He has a burner phone just to send dick pics. It's revolutionary
She dumped me and then asked if I wanted to come to her improv show. Fuck theatre majors, man.
Dude my toilet did not deserve what I just did to it
Im bringing my light up rubber ducky just in case we end up at a rave tonight. HE CHANGES COLOR!
The weirdest part of it all was wondering if I was going to take off his fanny pack or he was before we fucked
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