honey bunches of taint.
Guess who's still drunk but on time to court to represent a DUI?
You are my hero
why isn't there a fb relationship option that says 'still banging my ex'
I'm drunk and you're awesome. let's stay this way forever.
Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
Nothing says walk of shame like leather pants in daylight
I want to get so drunk, you will need subtitles to understand me. Rough week.
The hot tub didn't work. But it's okay because we discovered just how many people you can fit in a bathtub.
I just imagined you going baby-crazy and trying to shove him up into your uterus. Yes, I'm aware he's 7 years old.
Back of his car in the Starbucks parking lot WITH HIS APRON STILL ON. Check and Mate.
Holy shit. You won barista bingo AND the Triple Crown in one day.
How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai?
Rule 1: If any of us dies on a trip, the other two have to 'Weekend at Bernies' the shit outta that corpse...
It's only considered alcoholism if you're drinking from something other than a cup....right?
Step 1 was make out with him. so now we just need to come up with step 2.
Stupid Covid-19
The universal cock block of this decade
Randomize
