erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
Just heard an advertisement for 40 proof chocolate milk. We may never have to grow up
Not sure if jager bombs can cure tuberculosis, but its a theory im testing as we speak
Just bought a McDouble with a tightly rolled dollar. The lady just gave me a sad face...
That is correct. I did in fact somehow pass out in the tanning booth for over an hour. And yes the attendant did have to open it up and shake me awake.
You told them that the brownies were safe, and then pointed to a passed out Ryan and said "see?"
I just did the math. It is, in fact, cheaper to go out drinking every weekend than it would be for me to pay for a legitimate therapist. What are you doing next Friday night?
I think I'm drunk at the airport. Oh the possibilities
Blacked out drunk in California and woke up somewhere in Arizona, I'm pretty sure I got here on foot
Ok she stopped using her fork and knife and is legit eating that steak using her hands.
OK, but next time I'd like to be present for our make-up sex.
It was like if the scent of sour milk and burning tires had a baby in taste form.
The waitress at the Denny's in usa remembered me from 2 years ago when we went at 4 in the morning plastered, wearing overalls and huge inflatable corona hats on our heads
So I have three weeks to get rid of his girlfriend and fuck him senseless before he goes to jail
We have ur drink. Mom passed out in the bathroom. I'm goin to the other bathroom. Bs at the top of the stairs on way outside.
Randomize
