You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
apparently, "please pick me up from the airport" also means "i got drunk on the flight and need to give you roadhead in broad daylight"
He just said "Chunky" very loudly in his sleep.
Just opened a bottle with my rape whistle. At least it's finally getting used for something.
Also, I found out tonight a major plus for being female is you can accidentally call the hot bartender sweet tits and she won't get mad.
Woke up to a break up text for a facebook relationship I didn't even know I was in... 2012 is going to be a good year
He seemed like a really nice guy. He tried to dry my shirt because someone spilled their drink on me. I think that's how I ended up topless on his dryer.
I'm going to get old and fat one day... probably pretty soon and I'm not going to have any pictures to show to my cats of what I once looked like.
My dad just said "fuck circus"
I've seen too many dicks in the past week. I can't do it anymore.
I just shook glitter of my birth control packet so I’d say it’s safe to say it was a good weekend
Verdict: uncircumcised.
You're a problem for me, dick game too good. In the future when I'm with someone I actually wanna to date, now I'm gonna compare.
And you tried to get me to have sex with you in our Harry potter closet lol
I had sex while watching Lord of the Rings last night. I think I just reached a new level of nerd.
Randomize
