what if every blade of grass was a penis?
I was just about to go down on her when she gave herself a "smell check" and said "no, not today".
so i was trying to be sexy and unzip his pants with my teeth. i got my lip caught in the zipper and it bled for a good 15 min, totally a mood killer.
Haha, you kept saying the cop was going to give you a ride home b/c "that's his job, it's summer."
The walk of shame out of a freshman dorm isn't so bad when you're 25, nobody questions you because they think youre gonna bust them for having weed
I see your smile in the face of every drunk that senses he's about to slay a troll.
Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
she visited to give me a bj between clients. Social work at its finest.
I'm confident that their children would come out as 100% authentic rats
You went in the back with her.. And honestly I couldn't tell her neck from her tits man..
You kicked me our in the middle of a blizzard with a dead phone. I had to give my watch to a pizza delivery person to take me home. You owe me a gyro too.
I realize my mistake but don't you dare school me in cock, young man
Word to the wise, never look up your hot young doctors on Facebook before you're discharged. You will find things and no longer be able to take them seriously.
I think I'll shower sitting down. That seems safe.
I peed in Andys sink the other day bc I didnt want him to hear me pee
Randomize