ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
we got our roommate high for the first time. He went into his room alone and watched Malcolm in the middle for three hours
Only in college do people pre-game a meteor shower
my grandma was just praying before dinner, and before she could finish my gpa lifted his glass and said 'and here's to avatar!'
Somehow she slept thru the vacuuming, people walking in and out, and the sound of constant beer bottles hitting the trash, but when someone said weed in a regular volume of voice she startled awake.
drunk waterpark is besst waterpark.
There seems no grander way to celebrate 420 than to smoke atop a mountain peak.
Walked up in time to hear him say "you saw I was in a relationship on facebook? So why are you holding my nuts?" To her. That's loyalty man
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
why does CNN give a flying $@*# about the royal baby so, so much?
i hope they name him Joffrey
He balanced a treat on his nose, and then he rolled me a joint. My bf is the best pet ever.
The Stanley Cup Final is killing me. I can't go to work drunk again.
I don't remember his name. I had whataburger on my mind and in my hands so I wasnt really listening
I dipped out before he woke up, but I made sure to take the pizza with me.
I’ve wanted to home wreck him since their wedding. It was a dream come true
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