can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
She always manages to outslut me. I can't keep up
Guys, I'm sleeping in the BOYNTON LAUNDRY ROOM. if you can, come let me out in the morning as I have no keys. I might be in the study room possibly. DON'T FORGET. I will be trapped
i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen
im trying to look as sober as possible but i just poured orange juice and mayo into my milkshake.
We also had a full on debate about how realistic and useful teleportation and time travel would be...and only used Twilight Zone episodes as "scientific evidence"
I don't know, but I assume drunk me had her reasons. I trust her judgement.
Great news. Our sex broke my otter box
Bro you fell face first into the sand and then balled up into the fetal position and yelled help untill I picked you up, no more whiskey for you...
All I found in my purse this morning was 160 cigarettes and a fistful of confetti.
He wrote me a Haiku titled, "Let me touch your butt".
I vaguely remember losing my underwear to 2 chicks in a bathroom. That drunk.
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
I just need to find someone whose kink is financial submission.
I just smoked weed out of a tomahawk, then chased an armadillo with said tomahawk, I love my life.
Randomize
