i have your red jacket for some reason. and a good deal of shame and embarasment. note to self, wear underwear when you wear a dress. also, i was electrocuted last night. dont ask how.
its like randi wears special contacts, but instead of colors they make her eyes say "I want cock"
I'm going as Jenn Sterger if she answered Favre's calls and ended up in a trash can. If I don't get laid tonight I'm going to be pissed
Just did my hair and make up at mcdonalds so we're in the same boat.
Apparently she came home completely covered in mud, pretending to be a bird...and she still had more sex than any of us this weekend.
I had to rush to my room and get my vibrator off my bed i didn't want him to know how long it's been since I had a decent fuck.
This just became a night full of adventures...and by adventures I mean hitting people with my car
Not a chance. She stuck her hand under my kilt and she told the whole table I was indeed commando. She broke all the rules.
Nothing says summer like lemonaid, but nothing says fuck yeah summer like lemonaid and vodkavodka
Sexiest use of a semi colon this week, congratulations.
Finally liberated my Star Trek DVD from my booty call's house. Captain Kirk would be so proud.
I should be rewarded with oreos for not turning into a raging cunt.
She's sent me the same nudes using the same gestures and positions... It's like she has a template for her sluty-ness
had more orgasms than hours of sleep last night
Do you not realize that being Batman fulfills about 95% of my non-sexual fantasies?
Randomize
