he started fingering my stomach rolls instead of my vag... am i really that fat?
just masturbated through my pocket at the library. hope you're enjoying your saturday night out.
I'm pretty sure I saw a man standing on a table with no shirt on getting sugar thrown at him while "pour some sugar on me" blaring while the cops were in the house.
sellin beer in gallon jugs is both the best and worst idea ever. Im only gonna have one beer...but its gonna be 128 ounces.
His whole family saw that I had cum in my hair once they turned on the blacklight at the bowling alley. You should have seen his mother's face.
Yeaaah. I'm kinda wary about that guy. Does he still have that taser that he found on the train?
that bitch in the red sedan is still teasing me with the ice cream cone. i'm going to show her my dick
I'm. Arresyed bur sierra ue obbe of mt vet friends. I hope we can tyajk ane gwt ob the same page. Ur aweaome ttyl.
I lull them into a false sense of security with my gayness. Then when they're vulnerable, I strike, like a snake. A big non-gay snake, with huge balls.
People dont know what to do when a naked fat guy is running towards them. they panic
It's hard to judge what a reasonable amount of cereal looks like in the spaghetti pot. We're out of cap'n crunch and milk.
He was kissing me at red light while his penis was in an aluminum beer bottle peeing..
I want to get "Patrick Kane" wasted tonight
I am one hundred percent down for that
She fucked my eyebrows.. I've never had that done before.
Wait... Plucked, or Fucked?
Fucked, but I understand your need to clarify
You have thirteen minutes to get here if you want to get back together. Otherwise I'm getting digits from the waitress.
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