My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
moral of the story: I'm going to stab everyone
your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
i feel sorry for the hotel staff that makes the bed after we have sex
Are you seriously gonna shit with that life vest on?
We're going to play a drinking game. It's called "Senior Year of College."
She told me she wanted to wax my ass. I'm terrified and oddly aroused.
That's the last time I do shots near a campfire.
i have officially banned the recreational use of bayonets.
Happy Halloween!! Last Halloween we spent together you got brought home in a shopping cart
Nothing says Happy Holidays like sending a picture of your ass to the wrong manager.
I think he's like Cher he's going to live forever but not as scary looking
I just drunk texted the Italian guy and now I’m flooded with Shane. Uh, shame, not Shane. He sounds nice, though.
Look, I tried but his dick tasted like disappointment.
I just saw your brother in some random persons yard climbing a tree. Just saying.
Probably on drugs.
Randomize
