Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
I'm like a new puppy, everybody wants to touch me
She told me I reminded her of the fair. And she wanted to deep fry my dick and eat it.
shes on the floor puking and texting simultaneously.
That's because you're a slut. A slut fucking a fence.
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
the creek. my friends left me at a party next thing i know im in a breaststroke relay race with a bunch of randos in the dark
You shouldn't do laundry high cus pink.
My new roommate is one of my Tinder matches... It is so on.
MDMA IS GREAT AND YOU WERE THE WORST GIRLFRIEND EVER.
I went to an adult Halloween party last night dressed as Mrs. Doubtfire, but I woke up on a stranger's couch surrounded by sleeping children in karate gi's. And I accidentally flushed my granny wig mid-puke, so if they wake up I'm gonna have to convince them that I'm just a weird older man and not a terrible cross dresser.
How did you come to this point in your life?
Good bartenders.
Who knew sons of strippers would be really feminist boyfriends?
i knew it was a party when i saw you sitting on the couch naked with the keg in your lap, still drinking and passing out cups
i now regret my decision on turning down your offer of sex in the backseat
I know you can't find me. Somehow I ended up on the roof smoking a cig with the strippers that are on break. Way too drunk to deal with this right now.
Randomize
