He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
Every time he makes fun of me for anything I just remind myself he ate ice cream out of a strippers vagina
hey can i play with your boom stick tonite? I'll let you shoot the love of jesus in my face.
come over
biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
You'll be happy to know that I did indeed fracture my rib in a sex related injury
Hes the only one i know who can talk to a girl for an entire hour abuot the science in starwars and still get laid.
Bjs on a first date are the gateway to getting to know someone for who they really are.
why are all my papers due the day after my potential hangover
I don't think we had sex because when I woke up he was still wearing the chicken suit.
We met a guy named Raymond. You called him ramen all might and told him you would eat him up, "like sex, on a budget."
How was that my fault?! I made you breakfast and gave you cake, as you asked. Then, you initiated sexual activity.
you really need to remember next time not to write your name and phone number on the paper its wrapped in.
But what if it got lost?
its illegal. you dont want people to contact you if they find it.
I'm gonna chug this bud light an might injure this high school penis, like I'm 17 again
You got this. You survived the RA last semester (granted you almost got arrested but still.)
I let him use my phone and now I keep getting gay cruise ads, I guess he forgot to mention something.
Randomize
