don't go home with that guy from jersey
i know, not worth the blood test
i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
I'm passing your future prison.
The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
We've had the 'life would be so much better if we were both lesbians' conversation too much for that to be okay.
She's gonna be fat in the future. On a side note I had a "It's not you, it's me." conversation with a bottle of jack last night.
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
hey dude come in here and see how much of my beard i can put in my mouth!
Dude, I had no choice. I was defending my genitals.
I JUST HAD A FLASH MEMORY OF DOING A SHOT OF WHISKEY WITH MY BEER YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO PUNCH ME IN THE FACE TO PREVENT THAT FROM HAPPENING.
He pulled a bucket of fried chicken out of his backpack as a peace offering. Under the chicken was a rainbow bag of weed. We're dating again.
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
I got my gum stuck on his balls.
When I woke up I was spooning with a block of cheese. Like, cuddling. Me and the cheese we nestling...
Our livers get a hall pass for 2020, right?
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