Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
i have absolutely no control over my now miserable and whore-ish lifestyle.
Wish I didn't live with 3 girls so I could beat off in peace.
Just threw up in a trash can by the ATM. Then pulled out money for weed.
the only bad part about drinking alone is that in the morning there's nobody who can tell you what you did
Never get a handjob from a girl who gives deep tissue massages.
I ended up with a gash in my head from drunken dancing last night. I love life.
i have two emotions: emotionless and blind with rage
All i want to do is drink fuck and cry... you dont have to cater all three its more like the saddest choose your own adventure ever
You missed me roundhouse kicking a lit glow stick out of a guy's mouth last night. You would have been proud.
I woke up surrounded by goldfish. Thank God my laptop was here too. Now I don't have to leave my bed all day.
Friends don't let friends drunk sleep in the dorm common room
Well, when you bump into your parents at a swingers meetup, it's time to change cities
He's a psychology major, so instead of becoming a stripper, I'm just working out my daddy issues with him. And his cock. And spankings.
They're much more educational now btw. Don't judge.
Does me being hung over take away from how professional I can be today?
Randomize
