we need to go to the store. i'm tired of having bud light for breakfast.
do you want me to pick up budweiser instead?
We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
and hes going back to rehab like me, so we have common interests
I had my first sober conversation with his roommate. I remembered half way through that the first time we met I was getting fucked on his counter
We literaly had to peel your fingers off the jose cuervo bottle and lock it in someones room
Whatever dude, I don't feel bad about it. If my girlfriend finds out even SHE should give me a high five. That bitch was fine
A 40 year old man just put his hands on my thighs and said in these exact words "you're so beautiful and gorgeous and innocent. But life sucks and you'll probably turn into a whore."
You got kicked out after 30 minutes, 3 beers and 2 shots. Group record. Also you kept rubbing his belly and calling him buddha.
i don't know if this is a cannibal joke or a sexual innuendo, and i think that's a beautiful description of our relationship.
He fingered me to the beat of the Fresh Prince theme song... it was pretty fantastic.
Completely unrelated and mildly related, a guy I hooked up with last year in a threeway died, his obit photo was his Grindr photo
If I ever drink whiskey again make sure I don't eat the plastic cups that I'm drinking them from.
DUDE NEVER CALL THE COPS BACK
And then there was cum in my hair and he was making beans.
He’s exactly what I’m looking for: he’s got a broken heart, a working penis and a new boat!!!
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