I can't go out tonight. I feel like I'm starting to party as much as Farrah on Teen Mom.
She started to tell me how she goes to a shrink, so I started thinking how to sneak out of her place, then she said part of it was for her sex addiction, long story short she's got her clit peirced n I just got laid
She just dipped a dollar bill in her queso dip and almost ate it before I slapped it out of her hand, no more bar crawls..
She just messaged me 19 sad faces.
Either he masturbated at the end of the bed or she gave him a bj. Either way my bed was shaking and I was uninvolved.
I've really got to stop smuggling half full bottles of beer out of bars in my purse.
4pm update. Theres smashed cake inside my duffel bag, a vodka bottle in the dish drainer, and the most productive thing ive done is make 40 pigs in a blanket
He just kept yelling cup my balls to everyone they kicked us out after 20 min
Just got into a fight with a trashcan, today is obviously not going to be my day.
Am I just high or is she having an auction for her vagina on Twitter
It's like the cookie assaulted me with being high.
did the thing where I quickly swipe right to every girl on Tinder & matched with my sis. God I hope swiping carelessly is hereditary
Im selling my dirty underwear to pay for that cruise. NO JUDGEMENT . I love you lol ❤❤ also dont tell anyone
You seem like the type to go to a craft sale baked out of your mind. I like you.
You cannot steal the fun of my nakedness. You do not own my nakedness. My nakedness is my sole property and I share that fun with whom I choose.
Randomize
