Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
I'm gonna die fat and alone and all they will find is pizza crusts
he told me I talked like a deaf person
and then she yelled "im going to fuck the next guy that walks by me". so ya thats how i lost my virginity
Just wanna let u know that we are almost on the pity blow job level of our friendship.
I ended up with bruises on the back of my knees. Tell me again how I did this?
Just saw a tranny in a skimpy captain america costume walking around campus. Going to follow her. You gotta see this
It got messy; I did a shot of seamonkeys.
Welp just pooped in a garbage can. Guess I'm not better than you at life in any aspect.
Whoever put salsa in the kiddie pool.....your an ass. Fuck you.
Are you drunk already?
Not already - at LAST.
90% sure I just opened a snapchat of you in a fuzzy bathrobe next to your ceiling collapsing
A young (I'm going to guess late middle school age) kid shouted at me from the crosswalk GAS PUMP OF SHAME! I have peaked in life.
You can now call me Rabbi, and I can now perform weddings, funerals, and other services in all fifty states. You're welcome, world.
So how often do you needs to see my tits today then?
Randomize
