so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
I hate fucking guys that don't drink coffee. My morning hangover and shame will not be cured by your stupid tea.
She said my main job as maid of honor is to ensure the groom doesn't find out that each of his seven groomsmen has had his penis inside her.
It finally happened. My conscience stopped working. I've never felt so free
You know summer is almost over when ur school booty calls start hitting u up as if solidifying their spot in drunken mistakes for next semester
Those were some damn good pancakes you made last night.
Dude I've been in FL since Monday.
apparently, dueling with garden tools in Home Depot is strictly frowned upon
His brother just asked him in all seriousness if it would be cool if they became eskimo brother brothers.
I was going to do a cardio thing but then tacos.
After you puked in the bathtub you claimed you were never eating quesadillas again and you never even ate a quesadilla
Too bad Amazon Prime wouldn't get the wine bra flask to you in time. Concealed alcohol and huge tits? Win-win.
National champion athletes like gay butt sex, too. I'm just here to help them out.
We knew it was an interesting night when we found my thong wrapped around a chocolate chip muffin in the fridge.
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
He made me pay for half of dinner. Fucking feminist revolution.
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