you keep denying me to hang out, should i take a hint?
you keep asking me after midnight, should i take a hint?
why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
You know how my eyes change color? Well I noticed after I hook up with someone my eyes are greener.
Wow, so you're like the Edward Cullen of sluts.
i was so drunk that there were 2 of her, and i didn't know which one to fuck
My dad assaulted a TSA agent this morning. Shut down airport security. Don't tell me that your family is embarrassing.
YOU GOT KICKED OUT OF FIVE GUYS LAST NIGHT FOR THROWING PEANUTS AT THE PEOPLE WHO WORK THERE?!
correction: escorted out
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
no, i remember trying to staple my nipples together. I just can't figure out where the hell stapler came from.
Why is there a keg in our kitchen? I'm not complaining but why is there a keg in our kitchen?
I'm in my bed. Snow angles in fresh sheets. don't even try to get me out tonight.
I love the fact that my Mom has been present at 90% of my drug deals.
Just kidding. Don't worry, you're getting sugar and orgasms for Valentine's day.
Girl you know I'm an advocate of debauchery but you might wanna check yoself.
Who's phone is in my pants and why did I wake up clutching a handle of vlad?
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
Randomize
