i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
Nothing better then your mother meeting someone you randomly had sex with and him introducing himself as the guy who rocked her world once.
Until he has ordered mozzarella sticks & beers at 2pm while wearing formal attire, then this is still my bar.
the beat of "birthday sex" is shockingly similar to my dry heaving rhythm. it's making me nauseous all over again.
his mom called while we were having sex and asked if we could finish in his brothers room because her ceiling fan was about to fall on her bed
Just saw all the pictures from the party. I'm wearing a different shirt in every single one.
If you ever bitch out on 72oz margarita night again, this friendship is over
Just woke up next to a girl with 30 hot dogs in my bed. Vodka you win again.
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
He ate shrooms at 9:30, said, "see you later," and left. I am alone on New Years.
I fell in the river last night. The allegheny to be exact. Omg getting drunk at work gatherings is dangerous
He said we would have a beautiful daughter together. That way too much for a one night stand...
He told me I remind him of his ex girlfriend but in a better more advanced way..
Welp just ran into my high school history teacher while buying a pregnancy test...there goes my veil of innocence in this town.
How drunk is too drunk to be on an airplane?
Randomize
