i was gonna tell him a really embarassing story about you, but then i remembered im in all of them
she would only give me a road handjob because she didnt want to unbuckle
safety first
you handed the cop a condom last night and said "it's all about protect and serve right?"
i almost set my kitchen on fire last night. homecoming week is getting the best of me
My niece just called my sister in law a teabagger. I love NPR and it's corrupting influence on small children
Counseling BFF to break up with her BF. We will get that 3-way
I vagually remember taking your birthcontrol and washing it down with ash water
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
I woke up at 6am to a knock and a naked guy at my window.
All I remember from the concert was leaving in an RV full of middle aged people playing circle of death
how much boxed wine can one drink before work in a couple of hours?
Taking a shit in a Texas 7/11... not accepting phone calls now lol
I'll be an awkward "I've had the grooms penis in my mouth" presence and we can party our nipples off.
That was the most spiritually awakened shit I have ever taken.
You can accomplish quite a bit with a can do attitude and a well placed ice cube.
Randomize
