I got chris browned last night
And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
All i learned in high school was how to sell drugs
I may have a concussion but the symptoms are the same as a hangover so I can't tell. Best 21st ever.
mom just found 19 empty wine bottles in my closet. i hate spring cleaning
does anyone know how to get red sharpie out of a white cat?
Talk me down man. Writing a paper drunk and about to buy Celine Dion's greatest hits.
He is to the point where he forgot I was in the front seat of his car while he was taking me home...that stoned
Bank of America: Available balance is $546.25 on 03/04/2011 for account 8428. Go online for details. TextSTOPtoStop/TextHELPforHelp
i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
Woke up in a kilt. And it's not my kilt. Drinking was a success.
The trainer from the tech college told me that I would pass the first aid course so long as I turned up sober. Challenge accepted
Apparently duct taping your dick to your buttcheks before the first time she goes down on you isn't as funny as projected. She cried because she thought I was a girl the whole time.
In retrospect, vomiting out of a moving vehicle on the third date should have been a deal breaker
If pulling your dick out counts as a hobby that is his.
I just fucked her boyfriend. Happy birthday, bitch.
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