I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
If I die tonight, I want you to know that your sister is awesome in bed
Unintentionally made him cum in his own mouth, and he just sat there screaming..
EVERYONE CAN HEAR YOU FUCKING YOU ARE IN A TENT
I poured everyones drinks into the ice bucket and then stuck my face in it. Apparently I'm a greedy drunk.
I told him to pick up the beer can he threw in front of the police station. So he gets out chugs whatever's left and throws it back and says ok let's go.
We lost power at midnight which freaked out my roomate and friends. The power came back on 30 minutes later. We are now at the bar having "the rapture came and we were left behind" shots
What do you want to swallow. Press 1 whiskey press 2 rum
That was the night, like, my hair caught on fire...
I jus want to remember tomorrow how proud I was tonight for wearing my rainbow leggings as a long sleeved shrug I feel like fucking MacGuyver
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
yeah the highlight of my day was the 911 operator telling me they had frantically been trying to figure out where i was
I havent moved from the couch and I'm licking peanut butter from a spoon, I'm a beautiful person.
Ahhh the shame of taking out my recycling
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