you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
I do regret it. But I can't unfuck her
i keep forgetting that not all of my female friends are bisexual.
It's too hard to jack off and hold an ipad at the same time
I was just on craigslist and saw and ad for a naked yoga instructor. I will no longer be jobless.
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
It was an 11am booty call. We were both out of our element.
She asked for references to decide whether she wanted to have sex with me. And she was serious.
I woke up in a stranger's bed wearing nothing but santa socks.
I am so disappointed that he didn't steal a Christmas tree last night.
I swear to god if you settle for a trump supporting packers fan, I will not acknowledge your children. You're better than that.
That's okay I'm failing college because I'm to busy giving over the pant handjobs in class..
Oh hello Jordan's parents, I'm here to have sex with your son. He's in the shower? Oh great, I'll join him
dude, i told you to rally, so you sprinted upstairs, knocked some girl down, and without missing a beat said, "not now bitch, im in the fucking zone" and took off
still drunk.please come get me.he kicked me out because i couldn't stop laughing about passing out in the middle of taking his virginity.
Randomize
