I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
If they ask for a stool sample we r no longer friends.
he literally had a slideshow of all the girls hes had sex with pictures set to american woman
Can we have fireworks this year or will the ocean explode?
I want a coyote to ride back and forth to the bathroom because walking is getting old
ME TOO. Am adrunk madr out qith. White guy. Guy de white. Blanco chico. Chico de blanco
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
I gave them the 'I used to fuck your son' discount.
I may or may not already be in your hot tub when you get home. I have a key to your house and no shame.
I am stoned at Disneyland with my little brother. It's gonna be a good day.
They way I see it is I've wasted 7 years of having these glorious tits. I only have about 3 good years left before idk kids or just gravity takes over and they don't look this nice so it's basically open season.
When she says 'Polish hangover cure' she just means more vodka. Don't do it.
Her new crush is a 6'2" guacamole baron that may also be a Jedi.
I was just told that I'm the Sherlock Holmes of drunken sex. I'll take it.
People probably think I’m a fangirl bc I go to so many shows but it’s really bc I like fucking the tour manager
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