I think I sharted a yagerbomb.
She offered to make me a fruit roll up salad for breakfast...I'm not sure if that's the coolest or weirdest thing ever...
He brought over a 20 dollar bottle of wine. Who does that? This is college.
I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
I kno. She bruised her chin trying to swim thru the hardwood floor.
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
I'm sorry I murdered your sperm with my alcohol saturated Olympic uterus.
Plans for halloween need to outrank Caesar, Cleopatra and Mark Antony's threesome...just saying
This is that think about life weed. Thank god I'm in American lit this semester. I can actually write papers in this vat of introspective stoned.
Wait. You NEVER used a Dizzy Doodler pen as a vibrator?!?
How can other people our age be acting like adults when I'm still taking my birth control pill with left over gin and tonic from the night before?
If you fall asleep, my vagina and I will never forgive you.
You are cordially invited to an I'm not pregnant laser tag celebration tomorrow. booze is optional.
I don't care who you bring as long as they are fun and not a cop
You showed up at my house at 4am with a bloody nose, one shoe and a bucket of chicken... I live no where near a place that sells chicken in a bucket..
Well that would explain the bones in my purse.
Randomize
