Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
She made me put my jeans under her mattress so that I wouldn't leave in the morning while she was still sleeping. Apparently I just look like "that guy".
Chelsea handler, $19 million - Forbes women top 100. Seriously she shaped her career around her love of vodka. HERO.
Down at Ground Zero right now. So many people here. It's the most patriotic game of grabass Ive ever seen.
Im about to get a baby alligator stoned, what are you doing with your life?
How do I go about messaging a girl on a dating site whose little sister I've had a three some with...?
I've never seen an uncircumcised dick in real life and the internet indicates I don't want to.
My backyard is filled with beer cans. You idiots turned our backyard into a redneck ball-pit
I think putting on real pants was half my issue with today
I ask him how he's going, like life and stuff, and he responds "20-0 pats"
What made you think singing Silent Night while I was puking was a good idea?!?!
Lets just say the phase, What a dick, has a whole new meaning at the urinals.
HE'S FUCKING 19 YEARS OLD, HE CAN'T EVEN GET INTO A BAR WITH ME, WHAT MAKES YOU THINK I'LL LET HIM IN MY PANTS?!
Yep, you're going to hell.
I take on this great possibility with a beer in one hand and the girl I'm gonna fuck later in the other
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
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