the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
I had a dream last night that I had sex with Abe Lincoln. I must stop watching the History Channel before I go to bed.
At Grandmas for dinner. She is drinking a smirnoff ice. As soon as I saw it I had to stop myself from yelling chug.
Ive yelled into your vagina. There are few lines we haven't crossed at this point.
Ice cream after masturbating>masturbating any other time
The cops said we could pay $250 or spend the night in jail and get 2 free meals. I might pee in mail-boxes more often
animal crackers drenched in taco bell mild sauce... surprisingly delightful
breakfast of champions
breakfast of stoners
This is why Helen Keller didn't drink
Dad was on the deck drinking straight bourbon. He stopped, puked on his feet, and then continued drinking and talking about compound interest.
I have to sanitize my nipples and its just to cold in here for it to be ok
Would it be weird to jack off in the hospital?
I'm so incredibly high right now the fact I am texting is nothing short of miraculous. Call the Pope. Hell make me Saint Roy, patron of stoners.
let me just inform you that suppository-ing xanax is glorious
I am too high to deal with coming home to 11 naked people in my living room
Let's go get coffee and handcuffs.
Randomize
