if you don't start talking to me i'm gonna tell your gf that you said she tastes bad
we tried have sex after i gave him a handjob. he wouldnt get hard and kept saying his little boy is broken.. please come get me
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
Ya I fucked her.. But now Melissa is gonna find out
Just tell her that in a man's never ending war between his heart and his dick... His heart never wins
So I have the hangover from hell, spent all night puking, and there's a septic tank truck parked outside the house literally pumping shit. You win God.
he got a rim job in the basement.
apparently i was the one who gave it to him.
i think i was tempted to text while we were making out. like i remember holding my phone up behind his head and just staring at it.
Lesson of the night- sweaty dick can get stuck to ice, and require medical attention.
I've wasted nicer days than this hungover and dry heaving in bed.
shes making a cheerios necklace using dental floss 'just in case' she gets the munchies later
We fucked like animals and then decided we actually liked each other so then we made love. It's a match made in heaven.
I danced with this guy last night, I left like I was humped by a blind baby kangaroo trying to body-box.
But did u die
I found an onion in my purse
I just stood beside an Amish man and bought Cocoa Krispies and tampons.
It makes my nipple hurt just thinking about it.
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