Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
i'm thankful for my girlfriend's hot cousins....god, i love her family parties.
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
I had a party to get rid of booze. Woke up with even more. Will do this till I can open a liquor store
She literally thanked me for asking before I put in her ass
Need a travel agent to tell me which countries in Asia have legalized prostitution for New Year. Fireworks would be cool too.
He hit on a bridal shower w/ his hand on my tit the entire time. Gave his number to the mom.
we need to find an occasion to wear tutus
Why is there a keg in our kitchen? I'm not complaining but why is there a keg in our kitchen?
Carson when you get home I want you to go downstairs and go into each bedroom and pick up the underwear and either throw it out or give it back to the people who own them. Look all over the room. Thank, Love Mom
Do you think it's safe to mix miralax with a tequila sunrise?
Woke up in a bathtub with both of my legs broken. How was your night?
girl pulled up to the stop sign, got out, threw up all over my hood said happy thanksgiving then drove off
So far 2 of my professors caught me looking at their dicks
Just got my second shot
Baller. We’re going to be knee deep in strippers and coke in 10 days
Randomize
