is it bad that i shorted Freddie Mac immediatly after I heard about the CFO?
His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
It's like a parade of train wrecks.
when she was cumming she looked like terri schiavo. it took all of my memorized porn images to not go limp.
I started to trust fall random people on the dance floor
i actually pissed myself from laughing when I saw the old man in lingerie carrying a spiderman purse. I dont know if he was real or if it was the tequila, but my head hurts.
all i wanna do is drink skittled vodka, fuck my gf, and pass out in my neighbors hot tub naked
Slept in my car last night. It snowed. I peed on the street. Hello 29...
My dad picked me up from the bus station and as soon as he saw me he yelled "bus backwards is SUB!" and started laughing, I'm like 800% sure he's stoned. I'm so happy I came home for spring break.
I didn't know how wild the party was going to be until one girl brought her pet raccoon
I feel bad for her. If you sacrifice and have a chubby husband I feel that you assume he's not going to cheat on you....
Me too...I'm driving to work trying to figure out if I put my pants on the right way.
We were making fun of some people having sex on the beach, an hour later we were having sex on a golf course
Why am I sleeping on top of the fridge?
You were playing hide and seek with the dog. she couldn't find you and you passed out.
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
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