Through a series of unfortunate circumstances, I think I just sprayed lime juice on my vagina.
Redeem this text for a blowjob
Sometimes when i'm at a cross roads in life, i think about what i would want my lifetime movie to show what i did
And if you don't call me, I will embarrass you publicly with a can of spray cheez.
lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
So you used a whole package of smoked meat last night. Didn't eat it, just took it out and put it all over the fridge.
I think I wrote "thanks for the free alcohol!!!" in their wedding guest book and I'm almost positive I signed my name
Running errands with mom, cool. Coming to pleasures with mom for her valentines night, not ever in a million years cool.
Woke up to a sex noise notice under my door...he gets a A+ for proformance and ill be seeing him again.
I can't figure out how to eat twizzlers and I have to be at a wedding reception in an hour.
Please never have kids.
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
It's an interesting experience to pee while a bird meows at you.
You need to get out of the house more
Actually I learned to fire a 357 Magnum at the age of ten while on my very first period
You showed up at 4 am holding a beer and wearing a wig you apparently found in the dumpster.
That explains some things...
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