Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
Crying babies in a bar. Really?
And she just changed the baby's diaper on the table. It's killing the beer garden.
I start off june hungover/still drunk stumbling down my driveway with the trashcan at 6am..it's gonna be an interesting month
respond to me or i'm telling everyone that you inserted a vodka soaked tampon into your anus
u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
I just signed a document stating that I would dd all summer if they would go pickup food.
smelt my brothers hands when he got home to see if he lied about smoking again...he didn't lie but i definitely didn't expect to smell some other girls vagina.
They're doing a Bong-A-Thon for 4/20. I don't care if you quit. You are coming out of your weed retirement for this.
If you are wondering why there is half eaten pizza in your pocket it's because you were passed out with it in your hand in my bathtub. Today's your b-day and thought I'd give you a good idea about what happened last night as a present
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
Yup he definitely fell asleep. I'm trying to bone an old man
well don't blame me. sometimes vibrators go missing and people get angry. these things happen
That's what I love about being a lesbian. My roommate's boyfriend watched her finger me and then he made me pancakes in the morning. AND THEN HE LEFT.
He also ordered me a vibrator last week, so the flowers kind of balance it out
11:30 and people are pissing in the sink. It's gonna be a good night.
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