Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
I wish i could clap on, clap off my penis
I couldn't even finish, she was lounder and more annoying than DJ Khaled
I thought we agreed I wasn't a screamer?
You unbuttoned your shirt and started walking down the center of the road screaming traffic stops for Enrique Iglesias.
Amazing how you can get from "Merry Christmas" to sex in three texts.
I could have done it in 2
Just saw 1 guy dressed as a cow and another dressed as a shrimp dancing on the side of the road. We're turning around I NEED to dance with them.
Michelle asked what I was wearing tonight. I responded with a g-string and plastic wrap. I've gotten no response since.
I had to explain the gravity bong to my mom. Right after she pointed out I have a lot of dicks on my floor at any given moment.
The only thing he had going for him was mad fingering skills. the ONLY thing. crayons have a wider circumference.
She couldn't understand why my walking in on her 70 year old parents ruined any chance of a boner for at least an hour. I think she's too slow for me to fornicate with.
Nothing makes the walk of shame as great as disapproval from a mom getting ready for work
i knew it was a party when i saw you sitting on the couch naked with the keg in your lap, still drinking and passing out cups
Okay first of all fuck you and everything you stand for because Taco Bell is amazing.
I threw up in my 8 AM. Morale is low.
Randomize
