Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
you know you were way too high when you wake up next to a handwritten list of all the things you'd do for a Klondike bar
they hired a photographer to take a family portrait for grandmas bday gift. we just hired a male stripper. we are def the better grandkids.
how bad would it be if i made his twitter my home page?
i hooked up with some kid with a broken arm and he wouldnt even let me sign his cast
If i evwr doyble fist jack daniels and smirnoff again, i hereby give you permission to take them both away grom me and give me and give me a glass of wat
I just want to let you know it was a unanimous decision that we would eat you first if we ever turned into cannibals, we figured with all the bacon you eat you may taste like it. It's a chance we are willing to take with your life...don't forget that we love you
She just looked at him and said "I'm gonna fuck that" and it totally worked.
Yes stubble LOOKS hot but factor in his shitty bj skills and I might as well have jacked off with apricot scrub
She wants to go as a facebook "like" for halloween, but right now her costume looks more like the hamburger helper hand with broken fingers.
I wasn't a groupie because I didn't carry his guitar home
im pretty sure the interns at this hospital have gotten hotter
Kids parked next to me are getting it on. I'm eating chicken nuggets listening to Kanye alone. Happy Valentine's Day.
Im about to get an ultrasound of my balls. I hate waiting. Its the worst.
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
Randomize
