toast her oven
toast her strudel
inspect her gadget
Hey when you come over to pick me up in the mornin bring a camera. This is going to be legendary. Don't knock.... They might cover up
I wish orgasms lasted as long as the pain from rug burn
Harry Potter. Singing. Sobering up. In that order.
His idea of a compliment is: 'you're cuter than your friend. If you both wanted a 3way I'd do it,but I'd pay more attention to you.'
The only way to make beer can wizard staffs any better is to sew your own wizards robe and hat to go along with it. welcome to tuesday nights at my new apartment
I'll be there soon. I expect Advil and a bucket of kittens when I arrive.
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
If I got everything I wanted in the world, I would have been forcing soup down your throat hours ago
Apparently I filled my purse with chicken nuggets and told my mom I was a "sexual squirrel."
Don't be offended, the only thing I'm attracted to right now is snack cakes and chicken wings.
I'm just imagining Oprah like "you're popping a boner, and you're popping a boner...EVERYONE IS POPPING A BONER"
Typical. We're ready to go, and you're not wearing pants.
If you wake up, and some of your hair is singed off, it probably has something to do with the lit cigarette you put in your hair. You said it could double as a bobby pin...?
She was shaving her legs in the neighbors pool when we found her.
Where'd she get the razor?
Not the point.
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