Theres this tee in the mall and it says all girls just wanna have safe sex. U make me think thats a lie
false alarm. still invincible.
you kept telling everyone that you were the mayor of silverware town
She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
I just took boredom to a whole new level. I just auto-tuned and remixed today's western civ lecture
It's called penis withdraw. Or alcoholism. I get them confused these days.
may have given a homeless man 70 dollars in exchange for his sandals. so yea, i'm going as jesus for next halloween.
He's crying and calling me out on using him. It's awful. And I'm too drunk to leave.
Send me the picture of my mugshot, my boss got arrested last night and I'm trying to make her feel better.
Andy was trying to screw his door shut from the inside so no one could get in.
I'm just waiting for the avalanche of beef.
Multi-day drunkenness is to binge drinking as black diamonds are to skiing. They're tough and confusing and you hurt afterwards, but you did it and you probably got an alright story along the way.
I am having telepathic thoughts with my cat. He loves me and wants me to blow his nose
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
Things change once you put a ring on it. 5 years ago if I had morning wood she would have gone nympho on that. Now I am just lucky if she touches it rolling when we sleep.
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