You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
I figured it out. hungover me hates drunk me, drunk me hates sober me, and sober me hates being sober. so yes, were blacking out tonight.
told weddin planner we wanted to work in ceremonial body shots before vows. she hasnt reponded yet...
Can I get a "hallelujah" for railing my pastors daughter last night?
I just bid on a $9000 car because I think its my ex-girlfriends. Yes I wanna hit that again.
Do you ever feel like a plastic bag?!
In light of this week's heat-wave, we are having a house vote tonight on the temporary suspension of the "no smoking indoors" clause. Please bring your voting cards to the living room at 6:30pm
Point of Clarification: by "voting card" we mean a full beer and/or shots
Fucking holidays. How do I have this many men who want to fuck me and none of them are available when I'm ready to blow my top?
you'll probably come home to me baked as fuck and shirtless
He held my hair back for me while i vomited in my driveway last night and i repayed him by farting mid-heave.
we were running around the halls trying to bloodhound search out the source of the weed smell, but we ran into six other people doing the same thing, and they all said they assumed it was us.
He said my vagina smelled like pomegranates. Its like my vagina is the fountain of youth.
That is our entire relationship. We match bowls and give each other head. What more could you possibly want?
It's 3 am. Nothing I've tried can get the taste of failure and vomit out of my mouth.
Randomize
