She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
you went to subway and got pissed when they refused to deep fry your sub
Gay walks of shame are so much more Amy Winehouse than straight girls
right. well i dont plan on getting laid till i find a respectable girl that i can make unrespectable
If I die on my trip, you're my chosen person. Nightstand-vibrators. Computer-iphoto naked pictures. I hope you feel honored.
did you seriously make the punch out of vodka and food coloring
You ordered 6 boxes of pizza and laughed in the pizza guys face when you didn't pay for any of them.
I can't stream porn because Xbox live is taking all the Internet. I thought having a male roommate would make life easier.
I am so hung over a medically induced coma is beginning to sound appealing.
Theres a 75% chance I'm wearing a hocky mask and nothing else right now
Ps I am
You made a glowstick headband with a helium balloon tied around it and climbed a tree in high heels. I was impressed.
Let me tell you the story of bicurious george
After he came, I wiped my mouth on my baby blanket. I could feel nana rolling over in her grave.
The girl in line in front of me at the grocery store is buying wine, m&m minis, a toothbrush, and condoms. Is it inappropriate to high-five her?
I finished my first whiskey and I'm waiting to have a second one in celebration when your pregnancy test comes back negative
Randomize
