I think about you every night.
I'm sorry.
And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
I finally beat you i just fucked my professor last night!!!\n\n
sry, psychiatrist trumps professor
My piss changed color midstream. Think that means I have a 50/50 chance of passing the test?
And the cops told us we were all naked.
Covered in gravy. Never pour gravy while drinking.
I locked the porch door but I left a spare key on top of the keg on the side of the house
She looks like a junkie muppet...awful
thanks for being my moral compass. and thanks for not always pointing north so i can be slutty and not feel bad about it.
Last time I get high to write a paper the night before it's due. "Tiny Wings and sexuality" is not an acceptable topic to for a paper. Class in 30 minutes. I'm fucked...
Obviously a higher power wants us to be sunday drunk together
Commuter bitches be judging your sister and her bag fulla wine. It's a motherfucking rosé, bitch!
We might as well just set our livers out to sea on burning ships
I was giving this fat lawyer a table dance and he asked me if I would be willing to play with his long, hard stick of the law. And you want me to stop drinking at work?
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