she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
I am midnight drunk by noon
you know you go to a catholic school when you are rollin a joint with matthew 14:1-12
new excercise plan: walk a mile get a bj then walk a mile home
im sleeping in a hamic at a mansion. best hangover ever
Watching water boil has never been so amazing. I love wake-and-bakes.
Sorry no. I've already promised my first single hookup to somebody.
You kept saying you only wanted to drink until you were sleepy. You succeeded if "sleepy" means you sleepied around with 4/6 of the guys there.
New low. Just realized I hooked up with a guy from Grindr in the hallway of a building my great grandfather used to own..
SHE BROUGHT HER PARROT TO THE PARTY. IT SQUAWKS EVERY TIME SOMEONE VOMITS LIKE 'PARTY FOUL SQUAWKKKKKK'
What part of a retired stonemason dealing with your rock hard cock does not sound like you have the wrong number ?
IDK I WAS CAUGHT UP IN THE TEQUILA SHOTS AND FRIENDSHIP
I swear if you get so drunk that I have to sing Bohemian Rhapsody to you again to get you to come out of the bathroom I'm leaving you at the bar this time.
Everything is a learning experience. Last night we learned why I'm not allowed to bring guys home from the bar....
You should have thought of that before emitting walrus sounds while intoxicated
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