it's like i warped into dreamland and the only thing that makes sense is my solo cup
We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
At barnes & noble, drinking beer out of thermoses, lookin legit.
you didnt remember my name all night. you kept referring to me as "the blonde with the fat ass"
If fate has that penis in my future.....I'm down.
I always know the weekend is over when the real license comes out and the fake goes back into the hiding spot.
Check Facebook. Random dude tagged us in photos from last night dancing at Denny's while eating a sampler platter. 1. How does he have our names, and 2. You said we ate at Tbell.
hes either a crazy bad problem or a crazy good orgasm. I just can't decide which one.
Haha at least the one I have like that you can't tell we are completely drunk and you're about to kick a glass out of my hand in a fit of joy over pizza.
Champagne pong turned into an expensive and painful experience.
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
Walking into class right now and I swear to god I smoked down the substitute teacher we have at a party I went to last week
He plays guitar, sings like an angel, and acts like a gentleman. If I don't fuck him by the end of first semester, I'm dropping out
I got a free corona t-shirt and all I had to do was drink a beer. This needs to be a more widely accepted form of currency.
No. I'm home alone and 100% dickless. I hate my life.
Randomize
