we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
Wait, how do girls masturbate?
I dunno we use shower heads I guess.
..how does it fit?
No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
He slow fucked me. Doggy style. On a porch. You never slow fuck doggy style. Its a law. A LAW.
You were carrying around a milk crate, randomly putting it down calling out 'praise be to the milk gods' and making people pray to it.
we probably should not get naked in my neighbor's garage again. just sayin
I feel like I have to sign a death waver before I have sex with him...
What are you doing? Because if it happens to be drinking, or even any activity that rhymes with "drinking", I'll be over in 5.
Celebrated the veterans I suppose, my mouth tastes of gin and black outs
My doctor wrote down abstinence as my form of birth control. #ihavenodatinglife
my vag sweat smells like doritos
so now that we're not dating you have to stop sending shit like this to me okay?
I was driving around a golf cart with a keg in the back before I got caught by the cops. First slow speed chase ever
You threw up in your own shoe then wore it home
Like people our age are getting engaged, and I’m out here spooning with a giant unicorn I bought at Walmart on Black Friday.
Randomize
