How can something that makes you feel so good one day make you feel so bad the next?
Alcohol?
Sex with a fat chick.
If I was doing exactly what I wanted right now I would be getting fucked on a jet ski while listening to "When Love Takes Over" by Kelly Rowland while eating french fries.
I have decided to cut my hair. This is based solely on the fact there is too much of it to clean vomit out every Sunday afternoon.
i feel like i was in a swimming pool of captain and coke and had to drink my way out
they arrested me when i was peaking, i'm pretty sure they were specifically looking for me but i was too busy rolling around, loving the grass to notice the police car..
I found out you can't leave the bar with a drink. I also found out that pouring it on the bouncers shoes is also unacceptable.
We bonded over the fact that we each, separately, got arrested on the same weekend.
Would 7 layered rainbow jello shots entice you?
He's talking about me being Slave Princess Leia and how he'll chain me up. I don't have the heart to point out that he would be Jabba in that scenario...Is it bad that his lack of SW knowledge is destroying my lady boner?
He motorboated me, gave me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
Just because I also want a blowjob doesn't mean I don't want to just see you too.
have you ever tried to puke in an automatic flushing toilet? impossible
we f'd six times
f'd?
its sunday, i cant say fucked
God I need to hump something, right now.
He really is. Owns his own house and has more than one towel!
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