garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
I can text with my tongue
I mean, keeping the tube socks on AND taking cell phone pictures that he didn't ask for during sex? that's two strikes kiddo.
The girl with a dislocated arm just did an assisted keg stand. You will never have an excuse again.
There are too many people on this bus for it to be even REMOTELY okay that I'm wearing a puke covered sweater
I left after my shirt got dropped in the toilet thinking that there was absolutely no good that could happen the rest of the evening. I hear I was very wrong.
some people spend their whole lives trying to find their soulmate. who knew mine was hiding in utah successfully balancing a pageant career and a coke habit.
I really wanted to suck your dick, but I also didn't want to miss any of the movie
If we could give a gymnastic score to drunken nights, I would be a part of the Fab Five.
Love you too. There are very few people I let pee in my dishwasher.
I just started talking about how noodles were so good
He has a beach house and a Simba tattoo. Our wedding is next Tuesday, hope you're free.
We drunkenly made out once four years ago and then he immediately vomited and honestly I've never gotten over him
I swear it’s like he’s filling my soul via my vagina
What do you want. Tryin to service my husband like the good wife that I am. It is bj Tuesday
Randomize