Fuck, operation next sex victim is on as soon as i get back. Do not sleep with that red head, nobody likes accidental ginger babies.
I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
I didn't mind getting the stomach flu from him. we had great sex AND I'm seven pounds lighter
THEY SHOULD WARN YOU WHEN THEY MAKE JELLO SHOTS WITH JACK DANIELS!!! THEY SHOULD WARN YOU!!!!!!!
I'm going to replace you with a friend who will be happy when I find a huge penis
Yeah, well I just made $600 while taking a shut cause two diff clients called while I was in here. Tell me being a lawyer doesn't kick ass.
It's surprise blowjob week. You should be excited.
guy next to me on the train just pulled out two bottles of gin and a block of cheddar. is slowly making his way through all of them.
I've spent all afternoon taking and editing selfies. The life of a bimbo is truly tiring.
is that a sigh of girlish delight, or "sigh...I'm having a herpes outbreak'
Can't it be both?
As long as you keep bringing fries home, i'll keep being naked when you get home
Who died my cat blue again?
You know its an epic night when omar the garbage man gives you a ride home at 6 in the morning.
I do not recommend playing football on LSD like at all
Did I honestly think it was a good idea to wear my pink robe out in public at 2 in the morning ?
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