I realized tonight the smell of my dirty pads remind me of my grandfather.
and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
Girl in front of me has spent the class alternating between playing farmville and the tiffany's website looking at engagement rings. Every once in a while she holds her hand up to the screen.
She doesn't deserve the breathe the same air that we do.
She just bought a cow and we've moved on to looking at wedding dresses.
I wish I had a frozen water bed.
best. idea. ever.
If I was there, I'd make you a vicodin spiked sandwich.
"Home for the holidays" isn't clearance to fuck the recently 18 year old high schooler right?
Nope, his last birthday was.
Except there is my pee all over the walls now
Don't you dare blame me for walking in one walking in on ur fuck session....u decided to fuck where we hid our booze
today is just not my day... it could be raining penises and I would get hit in the face by a vag
my roommate made out with a guy wearing a squirrel costume, equipped with a blow up tail. time to start harvesting nuts for the winter
How do you explain to a guy that he's like a little puppy dog that you play with, but then leave at the shelter to go home to your German Shepard?
I may quit my job to go be a costumed Jedi at Disneyland.
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
When you leave ur sleepover boy on ur front porch waiting for a cab bc work
Nana added me on facebook...i think i'll have to call her and warn her about my lifestyle before i confirm her as a friend.
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