This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
grilled cheese. we just shotgunned grilled cheese.
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
if i find out your the one who pierced my belly button im going to fuck your sister again
Yeah just got a blowjob at busch stadium during the cardinals game childhood dream realized
Watching crazy stupid love and drinking alone isn't what I thought it was gonna be
Its TONS better. Expect a drunk dial at 11:54
He can spot Burberry from half a bar away. He's not into vag
I don't care if my next phone has to run on the blood of virgin koala bears, I don't want to be scrambling for a charger.
Is it inappropriate to match with someone on tinder just to ask if the friend in his profile picture is single?
I came back from England with a face tattoo and the only thing anyone can talk about is my beard.
Ran up to the dollar store to get batteries for my vibrator. Happy Valentines Day!
I found a used condom in my purse this morning. It was in there with a bunch of smushed french fries.
I'd just like to take a moment now to apologize sincerely for getting drunk and making an as of myself at your Christmas party next week. I'm especially sorry for sleeping with your baby sister.
I've been trying to fall asleep with ice packs covering my vagina for the last hour... Sorry for being vulgar. I'm going to kill myself.
Why am I not drinking beer at 8:26am is the question
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