I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
i am making flyers for the homeless letting them know about free chipolte day
okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
Wat the fuck dude ketchup in my bong???
I'll call you tomorrow. I'm ok and back i love you goodnight.
I stole a bike. Here's a pic
I look like a zombie and smell like a stripper. Its gonna be a good day.
So the guy who is making our IDs is in jail now for attempted murder, with no bail...
So no fakes?
The wizard has you scheduled for a 6am sex breakfast
I'm so there
You were doing bacon vodka shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce. You're officially fucking disgusting. I love you.
He found a way to charmingly ask me for a threesome and when I said no he made it sound like he was even happier. He's a fucking wizard
Also...I'm semi-dating the drug dealer that took me to bible study
My dad's girlfriend is driving through the snow to bring me my purple haze. If he doesn't wife her up, we have a bigger issue on our hands.
SHE MASTURBATED TO THE THOUGHT OF ME HAVING AN ALL DUDE THREESOME WITH HER EX BOYFRIENDS.
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
I consider walking to the bars and dancing my exercise and I buy doubles so my drinks r heavier so that's my arm workout
Randomize
