it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
last night they convinced you that a sharpie was a new style of chap stick... so when you wake up, you might want to do something about that
i walked in the apt and she was vacuuming. i asked why and she said so we could have sex on the floor. i love clean freaks.
So someone hacked my email and facebook and posted a boob pic I took a few years ago as my profile picture. I feel like an MTV commercial.
Im in your car brotha dog. Its was unlocked, so im gonna sleep in it. well i mean i think its your car be your car.
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
At least in the future when we're all real people we can laugh about the time we all had scabies together?
This spray tan I used isn't working out. I spent an hour exfoliating and rubbing the damn stuff in with rubber gloves. I wanted the alluring, sun-kissed, sexy look. I've achieved smelling like burnt popcorn and the cats won't stop licking me. I'm a salt lick for cats.
I'm stoned and just shared 4 cookies with this chicks dog
They're raisins though so they're healthy. No worries.
Mostly because I hate my job and a have a photogenic penis.
See, I'm just thinking of how...angular my room is. You probably would have sustained brain damage
this is the last time i am going to a 7am booty call
He didn't even get to the first chorus of Hotel California before he started convulsing on top of me.
last time we were there you stole a tap from the toilets. How are you confused that your bag is full of baubles you clearly can't stop collecting their furnishings
He said that we couldn't refer to each other as brother and sister anymore cuz we were in no way related and he would love nothing more than to get naked with me.
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