i think my tv is drunk
Bar closing I am hiding in the bathroom. do you think anyone will find me?
And then I chipped his tooth because I got too into it. Helloo, single life.
he asked me out through an event invitation on facebook, the title read Romantic Dinner For 2
i jus dunped the rest of my drink down the sink and tool my bra off. pretty sure this is the best decision for everybody.
getting kicked in the face by someone doing a keg stand. just my luck
I'm going to do lines of vitamin c I cannot be sick for halloween
Is it true if I say your name three times, you'll appear and whore everything up?
The homeless guy who goes through my garbage cans just gave me a flyer for an AA group.
I am going to piss jack daniels before daylight.
Daylight. It is daylight. Who will give you a ride back?
I hope no one. I want to walk and have a bus hit me.
Neighbour is sobbing. Difficult to masturbate.
I just used my dick as to measure where my desk would go because I don't have a tape measure or a ruler.
did i just pee glitter
Dude get over here. Steven brought super soakers filled with colored vodka.
You're a problem for me, dick game too good. In the future when I'm with someone I actually wanna to date, now I'm gonna compare.
Randomize
