They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
you were going around the whole club telling people to smell ur purse
she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
Why is your vibrator in the fridge?
I'm testing sex in Alaska before I go there.
We had to introduce ourselves in ethics class. This guy stood up said I'm mark, I love sluts and Jack. Then just sat back down. Hero status.
Im not gonna remember this tomorrow but the real money is in coke i wanna get a dark wood desk and cell coke then i can own taco bell and the xxl chalupa will be mine
There's two girls at the bar sniffing each others boobs.
He wants to make love to me in a sea of paint and wash my tears away with the brushes surrounding us..I've known him for 2 days.
It's so hard to find a shirt to wear out that is easily taken off, cut off my paramedics, but says "I'm a grown, respected woman"
My lower body still feels like its been through a garbage disposal and a trash compactor. In that order.
How did you get a free t-shirt at the strip club?
I was attacked by whores
You threw up on yourself again didn't you?
They were strong whores
I feel like I was playing penis roulette last night nd I landed on the wrong one.
Bring me that man meat
It's okay that we broke up and all but it's not okay that he still has my Chick-fil-A calendar card. This month is free fries!
Randomize
